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ive done this. its been tough. we took in my brothers kids 2 yrs ago, adopted them 1 yr ago. the older child is doing fantastic. he was 7 when he came. the younger child has been a nightmare. we are finding out she was probably a drug baby and struggles in school and life. one hard thing is the displacement of all my kids. the new kid was the oldest, now he is the middle child. the youngest child is also now a middle child. they both struggle w/ this. my best advice is get her into therapy right away. we contacted our local united way agency and got a referral for a really great play therapist. that helped both the kids and me the most. as far as visites go - make the stricktest agreement and then when your new daughter is fully integrated into your family and attached to you, then you can start visits, as a family, to her dad. another thing on attachment. study up. there are some great books out there. i have tons to say and if you do get into this and need a support person, feel free to pm me.
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