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Josh1788smom, My story is different from yours in several respects... I chose to place my child (I can't say it was anyone else's choice though my dad was in favor of placement and my mom was in favor of raising him). It hurts to read the way you were treated by your family. (It's ok to be mad at God by the way... read the psalms some time. Just remember that people often attribute to God their own feelings and assume God wants for them what they want for themselves. We have trouble understanding that No is sometimes the answer to prayer.)
My son was not adopted by a relative and I knew very little about his aparents. I had no way of finding him when he turned 18. I had sent a letter to the agency for him but the agency had closed when he started looking. He was 33 when we finally reunited. He has told me that had I found him at 18 or 25 he would have not been as open to having a relationship with me. I have been lucky in that his parents have been open to my presence in his life. (Admittedly his dad is more comfortable than his mom although I think she's relaxing more after a year.)
The definition of sin that I try to teach my parishoniers (especially the confirmation students) is "anything that breaks relationship." The tragedy of your situation is that your cousin's desire for a child, your parents desire to solve a "problem" for them (and you) -and still have their grandchild raised by family - have resulted in the breaking of relationships within your family. Unfortunately Josh's mom can't try to rebuild the relationship between you and trust that Joshn can actually have a relationship with you both.
As others have said, Josh is young yet. He's not much older than you were when he was born. It's a challenging time for him. This is yet another time that calls for the "P" word (Patience).
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