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Wow.... there are some really beautiful, thought provoking, emotional and inspiring responses here. Thank you all so much... it just goes to show you, this forum can definitely be like "group therapy".
I appreciate so much all of your positive feedback. Again, it's nice to know that I am not alone.
Just as a follow up, I talked to my daughter's first mom this week. She and first dad are coming to visit us for the weekend of Thanksgiving and I am really looking forward to it. I miss her. We were very close during the adoption process, but due to some issues she has back home, we've been less able to maintain that relationship. Sometimes I think that maybe it's better that way, and other times I think that this would all be so much more natural if we had as much time for eachother as we had 6 months ago.
In any event... when we talked, she told me that she was looking at pictures of DD and that she sees how happy she is and how she is provided for in a way that she couldn't possibly do.... and that it made her happy. WOW... That made me feel amazing. I know that she has a lot of sadness in her for her loss in this but for her to also feel happy for us and for DD... well, that just shows you the kind of person she is.
Sometimes sharing is easy... sometimes, those feelings creep in of insecurity and selfishness. Why I am so grateful for your responses is because, I think, going forward I can recognize these feelings as normal and not beat myself up for having them. And when the mood strikes, share my feelings here with people who know and care.
-Karen
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