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Originally Posted by abermarm
I have a question I hope that someone can help me with. My dd has made a friend at school who is in foster care. The little girl (10) at first told my dd that her grandmother buys her anything she wants. Then she said her father died in May. Then she said that she was in foster care because her mom and dad drank and smoked too much. Then she said she couldn't wait to be adopted. Then she said she was adopted by her foster parents who hit her and make her work all the time. This is over a period of maybe 2 months, maybe a little less. My dd says she gets emotional and starts to cry when she talks about this.
So, here is my question..........there are some holes in her stories, and I do know that kids who have been abused/negleted may make up or exagerate stories to get attention. But, I don't like the idea that she might be getting abused or taken advantaged of. I told my dd to tell her friend to talk to the social work about this, and in the meantime I would try to get to know the foster mother and see what 'vibe' I get from her (over a period of time, of course).
Good plan? Bad plan? Any advice on how I should proceed would be greatly appreciated!! I also want to say that my ason was in foster care (overseas) and I have nothing but respect for all of you ----- I don't think I have that sort of mental and emotional strength to do what you guys do on a daily basis. Thank you!!!
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Yes, that's a tough one. On the one hand, we HAVE to be very alert to any chance of abuse, and report anything that could possibly be legitimate. On the other hand - kids with trauma DO make up stories all the time, and kids with attachment disorders can pretty much be EXPECTED to tell strangers and casual aquaintances how badly they are (supposedly) being treated at home. And I'd caution that even a gut feeling or "vibe" might not be all that accurate. Can you give her social worker a call and lay it out just like you told us - not sure if there is any basis for concern, but could she please look into it?