[Saya]

Hi there. I was actually just lurking over from the Guatemalan board, but I read your post and wanted to respond.

First of all, congratulations on your adoption! I don't know much about the adoption process in Liberia, but I hope it goes smoothly and that you have your son or daughter here before you know it. And while for several reasons my husband and I eventually decided to adopt from Guatemala instead, Liberia is a country very close to my heart; my work has led me at times to work closely with the wonderful Liberian community here in the United States.

I'm so sorry you're not feeling supported by your community with this. While I don't know why it's happening in your particular case, I've certainly seen many people on the board experience similar things, whether they were adopting from Liberia or other places. Sometimes people just don't understand adoption - it's such a foreign concept to them that they don't know how to discuss it. Some people just don't see how you can love a child who wasn't born to you, so they reject the whole idea. Sometimes race is a factor too (though since I don't know you I don't know if yours will be an interracial adoption); many times our friends and families don't feel comfortable with the idea of interracial families, particularly if they haven't had a lot of experience around people of different ethnic groups.

I know it's hard. Here's this absolutely wonderful, life changing thing you're doing, and people just don't get it. Hang in there. Can you tell your friends and family that you are not feeling supported? Can you ask them what their thoughts are about adoption, and if they have any questions or concerns? Unfortunately, we often just need to be patient and educate people slowly. Maybe your agency can point you to other families in your general area who are adopting or have adopted, who can help support you right now? Or maybe you can use these boards to try to establish a network - I know there are some geographically-based sub-boards.

And in almost all cases that I've seen, everything changes when you get that beautiful baby home!

Hugs to you and congratulations again.