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We have been on both sides of the adoption game.
With our daughter, we got her as a foster placement at 5 months old. It took 27 months for TPR and finalization.
With our new son, we did straight adopt. We found him on a website (a different state) in March, and didn't hear anything until June. Right now we are waiting to bring him home. He's supposed to be here by Thanksgiving...but it's not concrete. Things happen that slows everything down. Most ICPC's take quite a while to get approved.
As far as the difference. With our daughter when they placed her in my arms..I knew she wasn't my daughter. It was months & months before we knew for sure that she wasn't going back to her bio's. But somewhere along the way she became my daughter.
So we missed out on the overwhelmed feeling of holding your child for the first time.
With our son, when I held him I did know the feelings that a mom has holding her child for the first time. The world stands still, and at that moment, it was just me & him. Nevermind that it was an office full of folks.
With most foster to adopt, it's not a sure thing, plus you may have to deal with their bios, for visits etc..
Straight adopt- no visits with bios, and the peace of knowing from the first moment, that they are your child.
I prefer straight adopt anyday.
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