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We are in a similar situation. Immediate family knew about the pregnancy/adoption but not extended family. The birthmother was going to get married and had asked our daughter to be the flower girl. Our daughter is an exact replica of her birthmother and I did tell the birthmother and birthgrandmother that they needed to tell the people who were going to be at the wedding or they were going to have some people fainting in the aisle....In all seriousness, it is not your place to tell them and in my opinion it is totally up to them to make that decision. I know how you feel about your child being a "secret" but I think this is just one of the aspects of open adoption that we have to deal with.
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