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Adopting out of birth order is often discouraged because of the physical acts of violence the older child can do to the younger child.
When you are the parent of a child for a number of years, you usually have a good idea of what that child may do to a younger one. Is the older child a hitter, a thrower, a kicker? How hard? What are the things that might send that child into that mood? And you are able to prevent almost all problems between the siblings.
But when you choose to bring in an older child to the family - you have none of those pieces of knowledge that will help you protect the younger one. You have to watch out for EVERYTHING - hitting, kicking, throwing, even things you never thought of. And you have no idea what might send the older child into a mood where they might want to hurt the younger, so again you have to watch ALL the time.
To look at it another way - go to a local playground, and point at an average 2-4 year old. Mentally take that child home, and put that child into a room with your 16 month old. Shut the door and walk away, don't come back for 15 minutes.
Can you do it? Do you think that's a good idea? Children who are in the same family are often unattended together for lengths of time. They're in the living room together while a parent makes dinner out of eyesight. Or they share a room to sleep. Or a parent leaves the children together to do a load of laundry or to shower.
Even if the 5 year old and 16 month old don't have any problems left alone like that, adding a child about whom you know nothing (or very little) can change that.
Of course it doesn't happen in every out-of-birth-order adoption. But it happens in some. And it's very much something "to look out for".
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