[lahdh4]

OMG!! I am soo happy that he found her!! IMO I think that counseling is good for all involved. With talking with E some other things have come up and I have been seeing her for the past 2 years on an almost weekly basis. We are covering alot of stuff and lately most of it is not adoption related. I think it could help you understand where he comes from since he doesn't want anyone in your extended family to know.
I know that J's extended family has a hard time dealing with open adoption. They have said as much to my therapist when I had her call them on some stuff I couldn't handle. I should say they are doing educating on their side since they still think I will "take" J back.
To me -- I told them that I wanted to see pictures of J with everyone. I mean be realistic. She isn't going to always be smiling (wrong girl is a camera ham ), she will not always be clean and there will be family around. So I have a picture with J and dad, J and mom, an uncle, friend and cousin. It shows me her "real" life so to speak.
Sorry for rambling