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Leigh, I'm glad you are working on that in counseling.
Sometimes I think I really need to talk to a professional about some of the stuff I am feeling/dealing with (my DH just last night "found" his birth mom, not contacted her yet, and it is really, really emotional -- I don't know what he is going to do yet).
I obviously only "know" about being an a mom and married to an adoptee, but I am very aware of the pain and loss that is involved in adoption...not just on the birth family side but also on the adoptee side. It was so weird to "discover" things about DH's birth family and realize that he should simply have known these things all his life (imo).
It's funny because I was thinking last night, would Dh's birth mom like to see pictures of him/me/our DD? I can't help but think that (at a minimum) she would and that she would want to know how he is doing. I have to keep remembering that when I think about trying to "spare" DD's birth mom stuff and realize that I am sure she is glad to know how well DD is doing, how happy she is, how much she has bonded with our families, etc....
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