I talked with the supervisor at DHR today and she told me that the reason we cannot adopt the boys is because they cannot guarantee their sister will have visitation rights if we adopt, so we can't. She also said the state said they should remove all three kids from our home since we didn't want to adopt all three of them.
I asked her straight out if in the states eyes it would have been better for us to go through with the adoption (even knowing in our hearts that the oldest was not happy with it) and not say anything and then let the problems come up later after they had already been adopted?!?!?!? I guess maybe in their eyes that's better because since it happens after adoption the state doesn't think they're responsible any more? Who knows!
I did call the GAL and he was not aware of any of these changes in their case. He is calling DHR to find out the details and the boys are going to talk to him this afternoon. Maybe he can make some sense of it all and help calm the boys down some.
MomInAL
Married to DH 20 years 11/29
BD 19, BD 17, FS 11, FS 10