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maviskat,
We went through something similar. The birthmom also did not have prenatal care and I worried so much about it. Then I realized that millions of women, before medical breakthroughs, did not have prenatal care either.
In the hospital while she was in labor she asked that I be there. Then just before the birth she asked me to leave. I just did whatever she wanted. Leigh131313 made some excellent points: I would recommend discussing it with her - IF - she is comfortable discussing it. If not then don't push it. Our birthmom was totally unprepared for what was happening to her and it was sad for me to watch. BUT - this is HER time, HER delivery, and still HER baby and yes, you are just a guest right now.
I didn't have but a few days notice, but I recommend doing something to keep yourself busy. Make sure everything is ready to bring the baby home. Make sure you have an infant car seat. Read a book, crochet, clean house, and most of all, if you can, REST - because you won't get much rest once your sweet baby gets here.
Also, prepare yourself as best you can that until the adoption is finalized this is still her baby and her decision. She may change her mind. She may not. All you can do is be very patient and understanding. I just basically was there for her until she asked me to leave - then I left. Then when she asked for me again I went back in.
This is a very difficult time for aparents as well since we just sort of have to "wing it."
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C/
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