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Originally Posted By Kena

Some suggestions (a la Love and Logic) for lying children (recently shared with a good friend :-):

1. Ask the child "Do you think I believe that, or do you think I don't believe that?". This, of course, must be done with empathy, neutrality, and sincerity -- NOT with sarcasm. The idea is to help start a dialogue about why someone may or may not believe what the child is saying, and the consequences of not telling the truth.

2. When a child is caught in a bald-faced lie (you saw him/her do something that he/she is denying): Simply "I don't believe you". If the child protests, that they are telling the truth or you never believe me, etc., "That may be true, but I don't believe you". The focus is on you, and your non-belief, not on whether or not the child told the truth. This avoids brain-numbing, circular reasoning, and hopefully helps the child focus on the consequence of his/her behavior -- not being believed because they are lying.

Don't know if this will help your child, but letting the child deal with the logical consequences of her actions usually helps kids learn to take responsibility for and change their behavior. A logical consequence of lying is that people do not trust you. You can only control your own behavior, but I imagine there are many ways to communicate your lack of trust at this point (with sadness, empathy, and hope for a different future). The same for the laundry -- take care of yourself and set a reasonable limit that you can enforce: "I will be happy to do the laundry that is placed in the hamper." The thing is that you then have to let the consequences of her choosing to put her dirty laundry under the bed unfold -- namely no clean clothes! Of course this must be done with no fanfare, lecturing, or fighting, and with empathy.

Just some suggestions -- Good luck and keep us posted!