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i know when i had my sons picture taken with his birthmother(at walmart). It brought on some difficult feelings I had to sort out.
I think what upset me the most was thinking of her showing this picture to her friends and family which portrayed her as this "perfect Mommy" to HER son. It kinda felt like one big Lie.
Since I had been fostering him since he was 8 weeks old and he was just turning a year old (she had done nothing on her case, still heavily on drugs and the case was heading for termination of her rights). I wanted the picture for my son...so he could have a picture of his birthmom. i didn't want to pass up that chance...i knew we were going to adopt him....and with her lifestyle I knew she wouldn't continue to be in his life and i realized the grim possibility she may not be around for a reunion someday. But as we were there her actions and words of her being the "Mommy" just infuriated me. MY son clearly knows who is Mommy is...and that is me the one whose cared for him all his life. He would literally turn aroudn to look at me when she would hold him right by her face saying "whose your Mommy" "That;s Mommy's baby" etc...
But then I had to realize a picture is just that...a picture and I'm glad my son has it.
I have since given copies to her her and to the birthfather and his mother. She will always be the mother who gave him life but she will always be the mother who did nothign to get him back and care for him...and no picture will change that. He will know the truth and i hope he will be grateful for that special picture that shows the connection they do have.
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