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One of the ways that I got over the "outsider" idea was to focus on me, as a young woman. What I WANTED, what I NEEDED, not from others but from myself. For once in my life, I put myself first and did things for me, not for others, not for approval.
From doing that I got a strong sense of myself and rather liked myself in time. Then, when I did like myself, I entered a relationship that lasted. Of course , in any relationship there are ups and downs, but how could another fulfill what I needed? Only I knew that, so I did it. Oh and while I mothered, wived, etc, I STILL did that on occassion. Going back to college, working part-time while I did it. Spent a few years doing what I WANTED to do and earning money doing it was a real bonus. lol.
Not that I don't focus on my husband, still , children ( all grown up) and grandchildren, but, I STILL leave room for myself.
So, am I an "outsider" now? Not on your nelly. In fact these experiences make me interesting somehow to my family and friends.
I suppose , in essence, I became my own friend to overcome the "outsider" feeling. After all, I'll always have me. lol
dmca
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