[Lorie]

This is my situation...I placed a little girl up for adoption in 1986.

I was told by the LDS Social Services that when she turned 16 years of age that she would receive the letter that I wrote to her the day that she was born. Is that true?

Is it policy through the church that the child be told he/she is adopted?

I pray everyday that Heavenly Father watches over her and that one day she will find me and let me know that she has a wonderful life...the life that I couldn't give her at the age of 16.

As a birth mother giving my daughter to another family was a true sacrifice and a true sign of my love. I did it to protect her and myself from violence in my home...and yes we were members of the church.

Thank you for reading this and good luck


I wanted to first thank you for your insight. I have shared this in some other threads but it really belongs with the original.
On Feb. 13, 2003 I picked up the phone and called the agency and spoke with a Social Worker. He wasn't the original but he was so kind...I guess you could say I had been dealing with some fear issues. I told him all the information on me so it will be easy for her to find me if she so chooses. And then I asked him about the letter. He told me that he didn't know that information but then proceeded to tell me that I could write her a letter, send it to him then forward to her Aparents. You know chills went through my body and I dropped to my knees and cried like I had never cried before in my life....the emotions to this day like a roller coaster. I have to be honest I really never had a chance to mourn for my daughter and I really never got any help from anyone. Not once did someone ask "are you doing o.k." or "I am so sorry for what you have gone through can I get you some help" I am LDS don't go though...a lot has to do with the way I was treated by the ward and my family. But you know I practice a lot of what the church taught me I just won't go. I know my girl is in a good home with a loving family cause the spirit tells me so...and when I dropped to my knees and thanked the Heavenly Father the spirit went through me...The loss the grief the pain the hurt the emptiness that I had a lid on came off. You are probably thinking he told you you could write a letter...no he was telling me that I am human and I have feelings and I have rights and you know what that's all any of us birth mothers really want is the acknowlegement of true sacrifice and love that we have for our children out there. All we have is trust in the agency and faith in God until the day comes that they are old enough to find us. I am a Birth Mom who has put it all out there on the table for her. I as a Birth Mom have done what I should in order for her to find me. I feel as though it is not mine or her Aparents decision it is hers...and I know when the time is right the Lord will make it happen. Sorry for being so long had to share because I am still healing and this is the only way I know how.
Thank you again
Birth Mom
Lorie