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Originally Posted by Natalie1125
I don't know how much more of this I can take. I just feel like I may never become a mom. My husband and I have been trying to start a family for three very long years and I am just flat out tired and frustrated. I apologize for all the whining - it is just that finishing up my 18th week in PGN is really taking its toll on me - I feel absoultely hopeless.
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I don't think you realize that you are a mom. Yes, usually being a mom means that you gave birth and breastfeed and change diapers, etc., but you have to remember that being a mom is much bigger than that. It means giving your child a loving and nuturing family where he or she can grow up self assured, happy and able to contribute to this world. Adoption - and PGN - is probably the only shot that your kid has at being able to have parents who can do this, and your waiting is all that you can do right now to be this kid's mom.
I know it's tough having to be separated from your kid - oh believe me I know - and I hope you can bring your baby home soon. But adoption is such a difficult, trying and rewarding process I don't think that people realize how much of a true test of parenthood it is - and it happens right at the beginning of you parenting journey. Your kid is counting on you and you are hanging in there. Most moms that you envy have never had to be in a situation where they had to be this dedicated to their children.
You are being a great mom.
Sorry to ramble on, but when I see posts like this it gets to me because I see people who are really being great parents and aren't giving themselves credit for it. But I do know what you are getting at: you miss your kid. Even if you haven't met him or her yet (like me), you love your kid and miss him.