Oh, Natalie.
I feel the very same way. It's been since June 04 for us. You can see in my sig what horrible things we've been thru (3 losses, 1 @ 23w!). I feel cursed.
I'll be 32 in a couple weeks. 32 and childless. I never thought it would be this way!
I feel certain this adoption will fall thru... b/c of the Hague, or a problem during the process, or who knows. Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered.