[Fran27]

Good replies, just a few things I wanted to add:

- with attorneys, you often still owe the fees if you have a failed match, so if you're unlucky it might end up costing more than an agency

- some agencies won't let you refuse a match, unless it ends up not meeting your criteria. The good thing about those is that it's easier on the birthmothers because they usually won't be refused by the family they choose unless they lied about something (about not using drugs for example). I personally can't imagine choosing a family only to see them tell us that they don't want my baby. Ouch... Usually those agencies ask you everything you are comfortable with for expenses, drug and alcohol use, race, medical problems etc though, so there isn't any bad surprise, unless something goes wrong at birth of course and then you can say no.

- Personally, I would be very wary of any professional who wouldn't ask you what exactly you are comfortable with beforehand. Frankly, attorneys and agencies that show your profiles to situations you will most likely refuse if you are chosen just make me sick. What a lack of ethics, and poor birthmothers. And unfortunately it seems I hear from those everyday... With a good adoption professional, you shouldn't have to refuse a match.