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Heather,
My DH and I adopted a biracial DD who is now 17 months old and, dare I say (!), the most beautiful, wonderful kid in America (OK, I know everyone else feels the same way!).
I have had sort of the "opposite" experience (to date) in that it seems that very few people (who don't know us) think she is adopted. She DOES get a lot of attention because she is just such a ham, but I don't think the stares/comments, etc. are a way for nosy people to find out more about our family. (DH and I do get a lot of, "Is she your FIRST?" haha, since we look like we could prob be her grandparents!)
I suspect that may change as she gets older and it almost makes me feel uneasy when people comment on how much she looks like me or DH. I did have one cashier say, "Is your baby mixed?" I was sort of taken aback and said, "Yes." She said, "OH! I love mixed babies...my boyfriend is domincan and I can't wait to have a mixed baby!"
One thing I think you have to remember is that when you adopt an AA or biracial child, you will be a multiracial FAMILY. I think you have to embrace that and try to do as much as you can to expose your child to other kids/families who look like you. I am hoping to find an IRL support group myself, and try to spend alot of time with my bf and her dd (who are biracial).
There are also great books that can help...I loved "Does Anyone Else Look Like Me" that talks about raising a child in a multiracial family (the author has 2 bio kids that are cc/japanese, but she also covers adoption issues).
I find that I am much more VIGILANT of monitoring people's language, etc. There is still a lot of overt and (from what I have experienced) covert racism in America (sad but true).
There are definitely different "issues" that you have to think about/be prepared for. To be honest with you, until recently, I was more of a "colorblind" advocate...then one day, my mom said, "I love DD so much! I don't care if she's black, white or green!" And I said, "MOM, she IS black." I realized I wanted my DD to be able to fully embrace in our family her racial identity.
I ABSOLUTELY love that Bill of Rights!
I wish you lots of luck in the adoption process and in finding your child.....
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