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Unfortunately there's no way to know ahead of time if your son will be ready. First, you have no clue how long it will take to find him. I tried leaving a letter for my son so that he could find me if he wanted to. The agency that handled his adoption had closed and he had no clue I had written one. I think my attitude for many years was that I would be available when he found me but that I shouldn't seek him out. I think he felt that if I cared, I would find him. (HMMM.) Over the years I would try to look, but I really had no clue how to do it. When I finally found him last year, it was because he had checked out adoption.com about 5 years previously and left info (now out of date, but enough so that I found him - actually his adad - easily). For us it turned out to be a good time. He has said that had I found him earlier, our reunion would not have gone as well.
I think all you can do is look for him. If you find him, contact him and then let him lead. You will at least know where he is. I know that waiting on him is difficult, but it seems to me that the reunions that are most successful go well because they move at the speed that the 2 people are comfortable with. (That may mean moving more slowly than you would want. The "p" word, patience, is definitely the key IMHO!)
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