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Originally Posted By Pam

WHen Lucas first came, he was two. His tantrums were something else. He screamed, kicked, bit, threw things...anyone witnessing it would think we were torturing him when we tried to restrain him. We had to clear out his bedroom of all toys and hard items and put him there to calm down, whent his happened. We realized he couldn't (not wouldn't), but COULDNT calm down on his own and needed to be in a totally quiet environment in order to finally calm down, plus it needed to be safe. Since he wouldn't stay in his room, hub and I took turns holding the door shut while he threw himself against the door and kicked it, etc. until he finally calmed down to a whimper. the lack of an audience seemed to help him be able to calm himself down more quickly. Once he calmed down, he often fell asleep, but, if he didn't, he was very open to being cuddled and kissed and told he was loved....it was actually very bonding (I know this sounds bizarre, but it is true). His tantrums subsided in time and he no longer has any tantrums anymore. He still tends to cry more than other 8 year olds, but he can stop himself very quickly and he never gets out of control. I do not know if those are the kinds of tantrums this little girl has, but I thought I'd share it with you. I also had another child who trantrumed more on the mild side. Basically, we left her alone, because she was not open to comforting while she was crying. She was too upset. It was not always easy to ignore her, but we did try....a lot of HER crying was manipulative (for example, I wouldn't let her have more cookies, etc). If I made the mistake of talking to her while she was tantruming, she would fuel up again, so I learned to wait until she was done and came to me for hugging and cuddling, which she always did, THEN we talked about the problem. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck on the impending adoption of this adoreble little girl who certainly needs and deserves GOOD parents, like you and your husband, will be. wHat a sad story.