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Carolyn -- Sadly, I have the name, etc. of his birthmom, her parents, etc., but both of her parents are deceased (per Soc. Sec. index) and don't know how to trace the birthmom, unless I pay a private investigator, and that's a crap shoot. The aunt and uncle (her mom's side) lived right next door, and that's who I spoke to, but they don't want to get involved, and I don't think forwarded that letter to her. I just keep praying that she initiates the next contact move, and calls me. I gave my home phone no. in that letter, and we're registered w/Mary Hinds, so I think just sit and wait. Only have a relationship with my MIL, his adoptive mom, and not a super close one.
It's my understanding that a CI (confidential intermediary) will initiate contact for you, if they can track them down, and indicate that you wish to make contact. At least that's something. I keep hearing that so many people think the other part of the triad doesn't want to be found/find them, so they don't register.
My husband's biological father was an Iraqi college professor over here in the US doing post-doctoral research. Ain't no way I'm pursuing THAT side of his birthfamiliy ..... figure I'd have Homeland Security on my doorstep in an hour!!! But I did get his name and then-current address, plus the info that he tall, slender, and extremely handsome. So I know where my husband and sons get those genes at least!!
Yes, the outrageous laws in this country are nuts!!! I think adoption agencies should be closed - I've yet to hear of anyone saying they were soooo thrilled to have been adopted.
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