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It's intersting that this has come up. In the last e-mail that I got from my daughter's a-mom, she was talking about how DD was not ready to start a reunion with her birthparents, and she mentioned in a way how she wasn't ready to hear certain things come from DD, and she mentioned that she knew that might sound selfish. I told her in my response that I didn't think she was being selfish at all, and even so , in this process everyone is a little selfish, whether it be me wanting to know DD or DD eventually wanting to know her history, or a-mom wanting it to be just her and DD for the rest of their lives. Everyone's entitled to it. And although my situation is a bit different (I guess you could say I'm in reunion with DD's a-mom after a closed open adoption) I felt even more respect that she could be honest with me like that. It brought about a new awareness of how she feels right now.
So you're not alone. I would think it's pretty normal to feel that way. I think it's great that you can recognize it and express it here, so that it doesn't fester into something that could harm the relationship. I'm finding as well that there aren't may people outside of the adoption "triad" that can truly understand the situation, especially open adoptions, but I think it's great that your committed to making it work!!
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