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Thank you for the support. I talked to my mom for about 2 hours this morning and feel much better. As much as she wants to understand she can't know what this is like and how emotional it is for me to say "no" even when I know we made the correct decision.
Nobody should take a baby because they feel guilty, you should be ecstatic and overjoyed.
I also wanted to clarify my post about not wanting a TPR situation because we don't want a baby that has been taken from a mom who wants to parent but can't... I got a little worried after re-reading my original post and wanted all of those out there who are foster/adopt parents this is my selfish reasin and nothing more. What you do is amazing, so amazign and hard that I dont' know if I'm strong enough to put my heart out there again. We are still somewhat open to legal risk, at least talking about certain situations. My dream would be to have an open relationship with the birth family and our adopted child with the child knowing the parent made the decision out of love...if that makes sense. that is my "idea" adoptive situation but honestly I"m not banking on it.
Again thanks for the kind words. I needed that today.
L
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