Originally Posted By
Pam
Well, California may place wonderful kids, but some of us can't come up with extra money, no matter what, and California is quite a hike from Wisconsin...plus it isn't cheap to go there....hotel expenses, etc. add up. The states we worked with and loved were New Jersey and Delaware. They not only were eager and happy to place kids with us....both states THANKED us for doing so. In the case of New Jersey, they flew our son out to visit us (didn't make us go there...again, because we have a lot of kids and traveling or finding babysitters for overnight is hard for us) four times. They never charged us a dime for his transportation. Delaware had two visits for us...one here and one in Delaware...all paid for by Delaware...including my hotel costs. I got to visit everyone at the delaware office, my son's foster mom, my son's therapist and my son's teacher. They tried to let me talk to everyone in person. When they finalize, it will be in Delaware, and we don't even have to show up. Both states paid for our homestudy too, because we were with private agencies. And they paid our legal fees. The combined cost was $0. Therefore, people who don't make a lot of money and have large families can adopt hard-to-place kids from those states. And our sons were very hard to place...one was listed for almost two years. Other states that we talked to and thought were friendly and receptive were Maine, NC and IL. I don't know their reimbursement policies. In our early years of adoption, we spent a lot of money on adoption, including international adoption, but we are at the point where we just can't anyone. Yet we can afford a child once the child is actually here. I feel like states that don't deprive a child of a home because of their prospective families travel expenses (which is a large lump sum) must not care about placing their kids as much as states that do a better job in that area. I know how many kids wait in TX and CA....it makes no sense to me why they'd choose to support the kids in the system rather than make it easier for not-so-rich people to adopt their kids, like NJ and Delaware do. We are the folks that are eager to adopt the hardest kids to place....older minority (especially black) males. I don't like the subtle message that our priorities are on other things in front of adopting children....we rent a house right now, own two vehicles over ten years old (hub is a car mechanic, which is handy) and buy our clothes at Goodwill. Our kids are the only people with toys, in our family. Some people don't have a lot of extra money, but have good hearts and the means to support a child once they are here. It's those transportation/hotel costs that are killers.....myself and others can't always come up with the up front money, no matter how much we'd like to. And there are waiting children who need homes in every single state. My two cents
Have a nice day!