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Originally Posted by Ky1982
This is my frist posting/thread/typeing/i dont know what to call it. I hope I do this right if not i am sorry 
What made you chose open adoption vs closed adoption? What is more for you, the baby or the birthmother?
Thanks K  |
We were quite skeptical about open adoption when we started the process. In our area, open adoption is the only adoption unless it is international or the situation is such where they child would be in danger. So we had to start thinking about it.
We talked to several agencies AND then, talked to several families who were parenting in an open adoption. We began to read stories that showed how everyone CAN benefit from an open relationship. We began to hope for and wish for the possibility of having a relationship with our child's first family, because we thought it would, in the end, help our child understand their placement better.
And then, we met our DD's first mother. Through the experience surrounding Bug's birth and placement, we bonded to this woman and her family and we knew we always wanted to know her and for her to be a part of our lives. It hasn't been easy as she hasn't been able and willing to communicate as much as we would like (and that's a switch as it ended up being we wanted openness more than she did.) but we still work hard to keep up our end of our commitment, for her, her other children and for our DD as well.
We are also working to communicate with DS's first mother. It is a fairly new relationship and she has alot on her plate. Again, it's hard work, but we are committed to it. We do it for her, our son's bio sibling and for our son.
SO I guess to answer your question, choosing open adoption was for all of us. We can see benefits, when it works out, for all sides. Sadly, right now, we are not reaping those benefits as the first families are not fully communicating but we are hopeful that, in the future, there will be a good relationship.