I agree talking with your parents MAY be a good idea, and they may be a lot more supportive than you ever realized they would be.
Just so you know, I did not tell my family about my last pregnancy. I meant to......I kept meaning to.......kept meaning to, but the circumstances surrounding my pregnancy were not great and I just essentially didn't want to worry my parents (they worry about me a lot).
Believe it or not.......I saw my family almost every single week, and they just never noticed (toward the end I think I started avoiding them).
I really wish, with the circumstances that I am NOW faced with, that I had just told them. They have been my biggest supporters lately, and they know every single last sordid detail. So of course they would have been supportive if I had told them during the pregnancy (after an initial bout of shock, which was bound to happen WHENEVER they found out).
I just want to tell you about a really good friend of mine that I met a few months ago. I will leave out most of her identifying info for her privacy (I did not meet her here, I know she doesn't even come here, but you never know).
She was in EXACTLY the same position you are in. Single mother of two, with a third on the way. Trying to go to school, trying to work, trying to find a bigger place to live (they were living in a one-bdrm, and she HAD to move when her third was born). All of this, at the tender age of 21.
She expressed sooooooo many of the same sentiments you do......it is SUCH a big struggle, it really is.
She then moved into a set of PAP's home. She decided they weren't right for her so she moved into a maternity home, where she matched with a couple who was going to adopt her child. Then she had her baby, and despite all of her fears, being SO certain she could not do this "again", she just fell head-over-heels in love. She is doing it. I am so impressed by her, happy for her, happy for her baby. She is so young.
There is nothing shameful about asking for help for a WHILE (I mean if you can find some sort of housing subsidy)-as far as I can see it, when you are back on your feet, you will be "giving back" with your taxes, and other people will have an opportunity to get the help you received temporarily, the way it was set up to be. I know a lot of people beg to differ and feel like "if you can't afford the housing and can't afford the child, you shouldn't be raising it" (that was not a sentiment expressed on THIS board, that I have seen so far).........but it is a sentiment I really disagree with. I think children should be with their mothers IF THEY CAN.
I think you should also consider starting by telling the dad. He may also react differently than you might imagine. Also consider the possibility that if you DID decide to go through with adoption, his rights would need to be addressed too, and it is fair that he at least knows he (potentially) has offspring on the way. Like you said, you have had a miscarriage in the past, so it's not like you have to tell him right this second.
Just remember that children are blameless......it is not their fault, and pregnancy and having a child is ABSOLUTELY NOT something to be ashamed of.
I know these years of having 3 under 3 will be hard if you decided to keep your child-heck, I HONESTLY never thought I would make it out of the 2yr-old/brand new infant stage, and I only had two. That was a really, really difficult time for me, and I am not denying that it will not be easy for you for a couple of years. But the upside to that, is that when they are a little bit older (4,5,6and up), they will be three little peas in a pod and one another's best companions (they'll start learning some independence from each other, too, like pouring their own milk in their cereal
). It really does start getting easier as they get older.
Maybe one thing, I just really hope (if you decide you must go with adoption) you will allow yourself......when your little one is born, allow yourself to feel the feelings you feel, and all the love for him/her. Don't rush your baby away, spend some time with him/her, and really think about it. There is no reason that you have to hand your child off to someone else the very second he/she is born.
This is just my 2c, and you can take it or leave it, it is not my place to tell other women what to do.
Either way I am thinking about you, you are not in an easy situation. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk.