[akcskye]

I ditto all of the information given.

I have not experienced this personally, but I'll offer up how I'd feel about the situation.

My biggest questions in deciding would be:

1. Do you feel you can have a productive relationship with the birth parents?
2. Do you have an idea of what to "offer" in the way of visitation?
3. Are there any immediate birth family members who will be in the visits that you are uncomfortable with?

If the relationship is positive, and you get along with the birth family, I would think no more than 2 times a month, IF it were me.

Be firm with your offering. You give an inch, they'll take a mile (on any life situation for anyone).

It is important, in an open adoption where things are apparently okay enough to allow the birth family visitation, from what I've learned over the years on these very boards, is that you must set your own boundaries.

Do you know what the birth family wants for visitation? Is it actual visits? Cards and letters?

Also, NEVER be afraid to pull the plug on visitation if things are going amiss...as much as you long to acknowledge the birth family in your child's life, if life happens and things change and they're not desireable, don't make your child be a part of it.

After all, though it's hard to do, the child is in your care, they're your family...you are the mom, and you know what is best for your child.

Well, hoping I avoid the normal flames...like I said, this is not from personal experience, but you wanted our thoughts, there ya have it. :-D