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We have that same situation with our son who is now 9 years old. He has so many questions about his birthmother -- we do know her name but have NO PHOTOS. Because I am CC and he is AA (my DH is AA), I feel it's particularly important for him to know what his birthmother looks like. She wants no contact. We have found her sister and had some contact with her but because we have more open adoptions with two of our other children, it is so sad for him and I know that to hear her voice or even see a photo would mean so much to him. The bottom line is that there is no more that we can do than what we have done. We support our son and hope that one day his birthmother will have the strength to come back into his life and get to know how wonderful her little boy is. I think in some cases, birthmothers are just too hurt by what has happened to keep things more open and we must learn to respect that and to teach our children to respect them also for what they believe is the best way for them to handle their choices.
Best wishes on your pending adoption.
Josie
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