[Lilly's Mommy]

Ok, I'll be brave and jump in here...

Does she want you to take the photo and give the gift from you? I too would be scratching my head a little bit and I'm not sure how I would feel about that. If that's the case I'd be honest with DS's birthmom and tell her that you'd feel more comfortable with just a photo of DS as your gift. If she really wants him to have a photo of herself and DS, perhaps that could be from her (and maybe this is what you're saying she wants to do anyway).

It still seems a little odd, I think. How comfortable are you in sharing your questions with her? It seems like this might be one of those things you two need to discuss, if possible. She might need to look at why she wants him to have the picture, and you might need to look at why it makes you uncomfortable. (In typing my answer it has made me wonder why I am uncomfortable with the idea... Would I be afraid it minimizes ME as DS's mother? Is my insecurity reason to say no to the picture? Yikes! I can see why you're posting!)

My best answer is to initiate a conversation about this. I expect that in all of our open adoptions there will continue to be issues we have to honestly, but delicately work out together. I hope that this is possible in your situation, and that it will open the door for future conversations as questions arise.

Best luck to you! I'll be anxious to see what others post about this!