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As someone who's done a lot of research on birth order books, I think the biggest issue to remember is that children keep their birth order even if you disrupt it. Meaning, if they were first born for the first four-five years of life or more, don't expecte them to act like a middle just because you added a kid that's older, because there can be naturallly accuring first born sons and first born daughters in a bio family, if you are adoption a child older that another child, the transition is much easier if they are the opposite sex. It's the same way with adding younger children, last born children often feel much beter about "being replaced" as the youngest if the little on is a different gender.
It's not beyond the most horrible thing you can do to your kids to disrupt their birth order, but don't go into it without the proper knowledge of the problems it will sometimes generate even if they adore each other, that way you can be really prepared to be a parent that's attentive to the little currents in your kids.
Also remember if you're adopting an older child, they have a birth order too and it might not be order they are going to be in your family. A foster kid of ten could have grown up with older foster sibs and may not be as ready to take over the oldest kid role as you expect.
Being patient, fully aware, and flexible are the most important thing with mixed birth order families
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TCK"s or Third Culture Kids are difined as "[A] person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background."
How being a TCK relates to my desire to adopt some day: I grew up an international child, and while the walls between country and race mean less to me than most, I grew up with an understanding of the influence of clashing cultures that is hard to explain to someone who exists in solely one culture. God has given me the gift of experiences to fuel my desire for international adoption and to understand an internationally adopted child's world.
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