I'm glad that this thread has been helpful to you all. I have had many PM's on this!
I just didn't want to sound like an alarmist....but on the other hand when I came home with Trey I felt very isolated and alone. Everyone posted about their "instant attachments" and wonderful, perfect experience....and I was left to wonder "well, what is wrong with me and my kid???"
I came to find out through the support of this forum that MANY adoptive families go through initially difficult bonding periods. I also think that although most of our bonding issues were obvious, some were covert. If this wasn't my third child and I hadn't been a nurse for 16 years, I may not have been so aware. I could see things that "just weren't right."
As I educated myself on attachment issues in infants and toddlers, I came to understand that many children "deny" their pain and seem perfectly fine. Then months later it comes out in behavior or nightmares or other sleep problems. Some of the reading was difficult and there were things I didn't want to know because they were painful. But I know that I am so much more aware of my son's current needs and more aware of possible future issues related to his adoption.
Again, I'm always here if anyone needs an ear to listen....or a shoulder to cry on!
