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Jenn,
I can completely relate to your feelings. For me, I think it was growing up in a household where adoption was not discussed. I was not given permission to think about being adopted or to ask about my history. When I finally decided to search, all of these feelings flooded me. I was overwhelmed with grief, joy, sadness, longing. I have not received contact from my bmother yet, but I have so many feelings of closeness to her. I try to not get too attached, as she may not want a relationship. Nonetheless, it does not make the feeling disappear.
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