Did anyone face opposition from a racist relative?
Hello all,
I am new to this forum and have a serious question to ask to other families who have adopted AA or biracial kids. My husband and I have one bio daughter, age 19 months, and we want to add another child to our family very much. We have been strongly considering adopting an AA or biracial child. Race is really not an issue to us, but there is one big problem; my husband's father is very racist. He says he does not have a problem with Asian or Hispanic people, just black people. He is seriously racist against any black person, and it makes the rest of our family sick. No one else thinks like he does, and we have ALL (including my husband's siblings) tried to show him the error of his ways and tell him that his opinions on the subject are not shared or appreciated, but he maintains that he dislikes all black people.
We are not that close to him (for obvious reasons), and my husband is extremely embarassed by this, but he does live in town, and we inevitably see him every few months at family dinners (my husband is close to the rest of his family). No one else feels this way, but I am really concerned about the long-term issues that might arise if we did adopt an AA or biracial child. I hate to think that one person's biggotry could prevent our family from welcoming a child into our home, but I am sure that my father-in-law would end up making his opinions known at some point, or excluding our adopted child. Should we pursue our plans and simply cut my f-i-l out of our lives, or what? Should we forget our plans because this prejudice could cause pain to an adopted child, or how should we handle this? The man is totally unreasonable, and I really dislike him, but I don't know how to avoid him without avoiding the entire family. ANY honest advice would be appreciated.
Again, I want to reiterate that we just want a child to love, no matter his or her ethnic origins, and that we see all children as equally precious. I am only concerned that the child might someday hear one of his or her "grandpa's" statements...this is so HARD! Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
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