[Graham]

Great contributions from everyone.
I think what constitutes success varies considerably depending on the perspective of the person making the judgement. From the point of view of the State, adoption is a big success. Children are stabilized and at a far lower cost to taxpayers (about 85% of older child adoptions do not fail).

From the agency view, the child has a much improved chance of geting a halfway decent education (the best we Californians seem able to provide..lol), more appropriate services from the helping professions delivered in a more timely manner, a much reduced risk of encountering abuse (physical and/or sexual), a real opportunity for enduring relationships that will not simply disappear at age 18, and family members who will be there as the young adult makes the often shakey transition to independent living.

Several parent's perspectives are beautifully described above and I'm not going to add to those, except to say that what may be seen as success for one child is likely to be different from what is succes for another. Sometimes just the fact that the child arrives at school in time, appropriately dressed and with his homework done is a major success! For another family the expectations will be different and maybe a B average is also required for the day, and the adoption, to be seen as a success.

Many times on our forums boards we have seen a parent describe a deep sense of failure over some development in the adoption, only to receive lots of replies from others who see overall success, albeit with some significant challenges and setbacks.

I don't even think its a question of, "If you had it over would you do it again". For me, as a social worker, success is the fact that the child has at least one person who is committed forever to doing the best that they can for their child, no matter what happens or who is living where. And in the long run its been my experience that the children feel the same way. You didn't give up on them. That's success in my book.

Graham