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Successful Adoption
I finally have a home computer, so can fully participate. I could read at work, but didn't want to register there.
I consider that my adoption journey has been successful. My son (I'll call him Calvin) came home to me shortly after his 9th birthday. He's 11 now. I'm a single mom. We had months of intense testing, as he tried to see if I really did want him, or if he could provoke me into "giving him back". We were in therapy from the get-go (not required by the agency, I just wanted to do all I could to help the adjustment - for both of us.) He really resisted the therapy, which was not attachment therapy, but was with a therapist with much experience working with foster/group home children and their issues. After a year (almost to the day!) we didn't have anything more to work on. We still have issues, we still have occasional battles, but they are mostly normal "almost a teenager" struggles at this point. He just had a blowout this week, and I checked back with the therapist, but we decided that, although self-esteem adoption issues will always be involved, this was more to do with the start of school, a new school, return to homework, more homework, more responsibilities, and the frustration of a newly-broken arm. (Enough to cause anyone to tantrum!)
Has it been easy? Not at all, especially at first. Has it been worth it? Absolutely! Are we a family? You bet! Will we do it again? Perhaps - we're just starting to think and talk about that possibility. (I want us to at least embark on the teen years first, and see how we're doing at that point.)
Fostering and adoption are not for the faint of heart, and a good support system is essential. There were glitches and heartaches before this success (but that's for another question!) but it is absolutely possible, and absolutely worth it.
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