jkea...lol...a porcupine..that's a good analogy!
I think one way to look at it that helps me is to remember that it's not an "ending", but rather a process with a lot of milestones to celebrate. Kwim?
We take baby steps and those baby steps are HUGE accomplishments. I bet if you look back over this almost year with your dd, you will see many things that are different than they were at first? No matter how small...maybe at first she wouldn't even look at you and now you have great eye contact. Or maybe she arched her back when you held her and now she'll let you hold her more comfortably.
It helps me to look at how far we come, rather than how far we still have to go, if that makes sense?
I really wouldn't worry about the potty training...she's only 3. Yes, typically girls potty train by this age, but there's no rule in the book that say she has to be by this age. Even kids without attachment issues can be stubborn about potty training. And since this is a battle that stresses you, give yourself permission to stop the battle. We can't work on every issue at the same time...we'll be in a padded room if we do!
I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but it does take time, and a year really isn't that long. Which is why I encourage you to look back over how far you've come, no matter how "trivial" you might think one of those steps were.
It's been 4 years with my kids now...and granted, we didn't have severe attachment problems, but we did have them regardless and we still continue to improve. Things are what I'd call "normal" now, and some days or weeks we might have some regression or some other thing that pops up, but overall....life is good!!!