I am a birthmom af a beautiful 5 1/2 year old that I gave up for adoption when she was 3 days old

it was supposed to be an open adoption and then they changed the papers at the last minute to a semi open. I haven't seen her in 5 1/2 years and only have 1 or 2 pics of her...I also have 4 beautiful children that live with me 2 girls older that know about her and ask when they get to see her and 2 you nger boys that have only seen what pics I have. I am having a lot of trouble dealing with this because every time I find the amom she tells me not to contact her or talk to her. I have known this woman since I was about 13. I am now 30. we were friends b4 she adopted my daughter.

would love to hear a different perspective.