[praying4rlittl1]

Good for you for wanting to reach out.

I would echo everything Johnna said. You can see from my first time that our first adoption has not gone well at all. I think the best thing you can do is to let her know that it's ok to be in that black place and feel those feelings of despair. They WILL pass. She will go through times of numbness where she wonders what is wrong with her because she can't feel. I've found that that too is normal and will pass. The heart is an amazing thing and has a way of dealing with all those blows and coming out hopeful.

I had more than once that I seriously thought I could not go on. But then I imagined "what if". "What if" I gave up..then what would happen to them? What would they think? "What if" these children were lost to the system? And I would go on one more minute, one more hour, one more day. You just keep going and hanging on to the hope that these kids will come home.

You are doing the most important thing by trying to understand. You can tell her that you honestly don't know what to say, that you are so sorry, that it isn't fair. Let her know you care so much and hate to see her go through this. Let her know that the decision she makes will be ok and that you will support her. Just knowing you care and aren't judgemental will mean so much. Know that what she says today will change and that she will likely find a strength in her heart she never knew she had. But just be there for her.

I think she will get through, but it is oh so hard. Bless you for caring. You are a great friend.