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Originally Posted by germangrloh
MsDesi,
You are absolutely right in that we are not openly given the information upfront. This is something I find amazing:
If you do a search on the web for Open Adoption will you get back: 1,780,271 results
That is astronomical! The more amazing part or issue is that there is not one agency or site that openly discusses that Open Adoption is a concept and not a legal form of adoption. That it is not legally enforceable! I find this to be absolutely apaulling! How can it be legal for them to decide when and how they tell a birthmother of the legality's? Just as anyone else the way it is presented I never would guess or assume that it is not legally binding in any way. They are not only affecting birthparents but also our children.
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You got it exactly right. I've wondered also what would be so wrong with having legally enforcable open/semi-open adoption contracts? Oh I've heard the usual argument about how "sometimes birthparents overstep boundries and that's bad for the child so we need to close" but surely there would be a provision in said contract that would protect the adoptive parents in the event of such a circumstance. I wonder why if a couple is saying "Yes we want open"...why not put paper to pen? If they want closed, let them say so and wait. Yes, the wait may be longer but honesty is best. Eventually a mom wanting closed would come along most likely, or not and if that's the case there's always international.