We are kind of in the same situation as you. DD came home from the hospital as "Baby Girl" *Jones*. The birth mom gave birth and left, needed a fix. So we brought her home, named her (with great thought and care), and thought that was that. Twelve months later the CW applied for a birth certificate, and lo and behold, the mom had actually filled one out as she was leaving the hospital. Baby Girl had a name! It was hideous. We even contacted bio sibs, who are much older, to find out if it was some sort of family name. Really truley, NO ONE could have come up with this name. It wasn't weird, like Banjo or Apple, just ugly. Think along the lines of naming your daughter Elvira Fanny, (my great, great, aunt's name BTW
).
ANYWAY, we obviously weren't going to start calling her the new name. She has no attachment to the name. We weren't taking something away from her as some older fosters feel. The name on the birth certificate was more of an afterthought for her Birth mom than anything.
If you feel like you should at least reference the bio mom's wishes, you could use one of the "originals" as a middle like some of the posters, or a form of the name as a name (Alexandria to Alexis, AnneMarie to Anna). Just simply as a coincidence, the name we chose for her has the same initials as the birth certificate name. But I also think that how long the child has been going by the name makes a difference. You don't mention how old the child is. Babies don't care, seven year olds do. What have you been calling her? Have you been using her birth name or a name you gave her? I think that each situation is different, and without knowing a lot of the details, no one here can accurately tell you what to do. Some kids want to change their names, as they associate the name with the trauma, some need it changed to protect them, some want to keep it, as it gives them a link to a life that has diappeared. Some are just too young to care.
We have a copy of the original birth certificate. Our daughter will know the name her mom chose. In our case, I think that is enough, we don't feel any need to hang on to a name that has less meaning than the one WE chose for her. (And not just because the other one is hideous
)