[AmahMama]

If the child is older - he should be asked his preference. I have an adopted grandson that asked to change his whole name to go with his new life as a SON. Other grandchildren (all adopted) still have thier birth first name - because it is hard to take everything away. And we called them by that name during the entire "foster period". Middle names were changed and in once case the first name was changed and the birth name became the middle name. We still call her by the same name. Many times we have made up nicknames for the child (esp if we knew (or felt strongly) that they would be going to adoption so that the adoptive parents could do whatever they wished with the name and just use the nickname during the adjustment period. How would you like to have someone "new" calling you a name you'd never heard before? And expect you to answer to it???

A funny - at one point we had 2 Jasmines. And we had them for several months, both planned for reunification. One a 4 yo and one 18 mos. We called the older one Jas and the little one Minnie. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do LOL

So we've had several scenario's with names - hope this helps some. You have to do what is best for you and your family!!