[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by uboe42

You are correct dadfor2,

I defiantly am in the wrong forum. From my short experience the system needs to be bashed, it needs to be spit on. It needs to be fixed. I myself cannot be apart of something like this. I feel I was so easily manipulated to help break a family apart.

Maybe the system has some flaws, but most foster parents are not the problem! I can understand you wanting to do some bashing of the SYSTEM, but you also seem to be bashing foster parents to an extent. Sorry if I'm being too sensitive an misinterpreting.

If there was some vindictive family member who first reported this family, shouldn’t there be some positive proof of neglect BEFORE placing the child in foster family.
NO. Neglect can take a while to PROVE, and a child could be seriously harmed or killed while an investigation is taking place. It is simply responsible social work to move in to protect a child if there is sound reason to SUSPECT abuse - and then work quickly to ascertain whether it is valid or not - and of course return a child quickly if necessary. Of course I'd be devastated if my child was removed unjustly - but believe me, it would be far worse to have a children die in the care of their own parents while positive proof was being looked for. Read David Peltzer's book "A Child Called It" for a truly chilling look at what happens when Children's Services waits for enuogh proof - which they used to do in the past.


Now that I have read over more posts from other people I realize that this is not the place for a person like me. If the goal of a foster parent is to provide temporary placement of children in need, until they can be returned to the parents, why is there so much celebration of a TPR.
2 reasons - first, because a child is being saved from a home that can't meet their needs (in most cases when TPR is granted, parents have been given MANY chances to fix the problems). Secondly, of course, because a beloved child is now a permanent part of our family. That said, there are very few of us who don't still feel sorrow mixed with our joy. I WISH my son's parents could have met his needs - I WISH that he'd never been abused and neglected...he's so damaged he'll never be completely "normal". I wouldn't ever want that for someone I love!

I know we loose a big part of our lives when the children are returned to the bio’s. But seeing as how that is the goal, shouldn’t that be a cause for celebration. When the bio’s get their act together or fix whatever problems there might be and the family is reunited.
Plenty of foster parents on here do that, and do celebrate - if they believe the situation has really been resolved. Not all are hoping to adopt.

But poverty, and even drug abuse are correctable problems.
Children aren't removed for poverty. YES most problems are correctable - but only if the parents choose to take action. Sadly, many do not. My son's parents had FOURTEEN years to decide to deal with their drug problems and quit neglecting and abusing him. They never did. Yet today they say that they system *stole* their child for no good reason.

Sorry to be suspicious- but I have to wonder if you truly are who you say you are. Some parts of your most recent post have the "ring" of a bio parent who feels that their own children were removed for "false" reasons. I truly apologize if that is the case - I was certainly sympathetic to your first pose, but I just can't help wondering....