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Originally Posted by maviskat
Hubby and I are anxiously awaiting our first adoption (hopefully in a few weeks as we are matched with a young couple!!  ) and are hoping to have and maintain an open adoption with the birth parents. Obviously, much is still to be discussed as to how much and what kind of contact. The birth parents at this stage have expressed a desire for pixs and letters as well as maybe getting together a couple of times a year. We would be very happy with that sort of arrangement.
Here is my question for those of you who have gone before us.....Did the open adoption plan you made end up being what you have today with the birth parents? If the plan changed, was it more or less contact? I guess I am wondering if many birth parents who initially say they want to hear from or see us, find it too difficult after all is said and done and break off the contact? Just curious to hear everyone's thoughts.
Thanks,
Kathy |
Kathy... ours are very different than what I committed to. It is a matter of the circumstances that the first families of my kiddos are in, I guess. Or maybe I should say that it is very different than I thought it would be. It took me a long time to come around to the idea of openness and once I committed to and started the relationship with my kids' first families, I wanted to continue. It hasn't been that easy. I am working hard to maintain threads of contact in hopes that in the future Bug and Roo's first families will want more, even though the mutual relationship is not there right now.
I would only commit to the minimum you are willing to do and then build from there. What they are asking seems very reasonable and will give you lots of opportunities to get to know your child's first family.
Wishing you the best!!!