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Originally Posted by mom of 2
I can only pray my b son contacts me and establishes boundaries with me ,with dignity and respect as that is the only way I have evr treated him or his adoptive parents.Does every one forget the birth moms role in everything???How did the adoptee get to that family?
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No, no one has forgotten the birth mother's role. I am, and will always be very thankful to her. This just took me as quite a surprise is all. I am happy that she contacted me, but it brought out emotions in me that I did not know I have. I am a logical, non-emotional person in general, so it takes me some time to work through this.
I don't think a relationship can happen overnight...in fact, I know that. It takes much time to develop. And in this case, it will take time.
We have sorted things out (my birth mom and I) at this point. We e-mailed last night and this morning, and have decided to just take things slow, correspond a bit as time goes on, and see how the relationship develops. It may grow to a good friendship, it may not....only time will tell.
As far as your daughter....I don't know what to tell you. My situation sounds quite different than the situation you are in. I found out that my birth mom is married and has three children. She does not see me as a "brother" to them, and I don't feel any connection to them. As far as I know, they do not even know about me.
I can say, that if she had approached this as "I want to be part of your family now," I would have not responded in the same way. I probably would not have responded at all. However, she approached me as, "I would like to have a conversation with you. I know you have a wonderful family, and don't need another one, but one can never have enough friends." I am open, and excited about this prospect.