hi there
im a birthmom to a daughter whos 16.....
its a closed adoption
tried to get a picture and adoptive parents refused to send one after saying they would ......
my opinion is ......
your birthmom has thought about you and wondered how you are doing all your life.........
as i have also......
the only difference is that i would love contact with daughter when shes ready.......
any kind of communication between you and your birthmom is probably better than nothing for her.........she probably wants you to let you 'call the shots' per say......
she is probably afraid you might reject her too.......
so many emotions run wild during reunion ....its crazy.......
remember your adoptive parents will always love you no matter what you do.....your loyalties to them will NOT affect your relationship with your birthmom.......
you have an established relationship with adoptive parents and thats great.....
i wouldnt feel bad about reuniting with birthmom .......
you have the ball in your hands......
you reunite when you think your ready for it .......
i wish you all the best in your reunion process......