[Linny]

A little history about our 'closed-type' adoptions. The first two were infants adopted from overseas while we lived there. One baby had absolutely no info available at all. The other had a ton of info (including extended bio family names and addresses). Neither allowed for any contact with biological people. Both are now grown and successful adults. Neither has had any desire to search for their biologicals. Both have said that 'they feel no reason to do so'.

The next three were system older child adoptions. TPR's were due to abuse.

The last two (and hopefully, not the last babies)......included one that was semi-open for the first few years; and another that had no contact whatsoever. Both of these involved a lot of information about the baby and the biological parents. At my request, for one baby, we entered into a semi-open agreement for the first few years.


What do you like best about being closed?

As long as there is information about the child/baby......and the birthparents have basic info about us, then the advantage is that we feel the baby/child can bond more easily to the adoptive family. There is the freedom for the 'one day grown' child to make his/her own choice about whether they wish to contact (which we have always supported big time) as an adult. Let me say too, we don't feel that fully closed is always the best route either. For us, it has been. But, I can understand some issues for more open adoptions.

What do you wish you could change?

The concept held by some, that 'closed adoptions' mean the biological or adoptive parents have something to hide or be afraid of. There are as many reasons for a bioparent to choose 'closed' as there are for more open options. Additionally, 'closed' does not mean that my children 'suffer' or have the 'supposed denial of their primal wound'.

Would you still chose closed if you had an option?

Absolutely. The only thing we would hope, would be that the biological parents would know the make-up and basic info about our family; and we would know the basic info about them

What would you like people to know about closed adoptions?

That 'closed adoptions' do not mean the covert and dishonest practices of many years ago. Just because someone (whether the biological parent or the adoptive parent) desire this, does not mean they have something to hide (or are afraid of). It also doesn't mean that we don't talk about adoption and biological beginnings with our children; or that we believe adoption is something to be hidden! In fact, I suspect our family has discussed and does discuss adoption more than most families do!

Sincerely,

Linny