[kindofblue]

I am 29 years old, and was adopted as a newborn. I have a wonderful family.

Last week, I received an e-mail from my birth mother, saying she would like to have a conversation with me, but if I didn't want to, to delete the e-mail and she would not try to contact me again.

My parents were always open with me about the circumstances of my adoption. However, I have never been overly curious about my birth mother. Now I am quite curious.

I have e-mailed her a couple of times. She is clear she does not want me to consider her as family but it seems she wants to be friends or have some on-going correspondence. I have not talked to her on the phone yet, but have her number if I want to call her.

My parents were as shocked as I was. I called them immediately after receiving the e-mail. I do not quite know how they are feeling about all of this. I do know they are emotional, but all I've gotten out of them is "We will support whatever you decide to do."

I am not looking for another family, and do not need another person intimatley involved in my life, but at the same time, I would like to correspond with her occasionally.

I need advice.

1. If you are an adoptive parent....what are some of the thoughts and feelings my parents are likely to have right now? I need to know so that I can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

2. If you are a birth mother....what is she likely to be thinking and feeling. She has another family now, and obviously does not need me in her life.....however, I am very important to her and she wants some correspondence.

3. If there is anything or issues I am overlooking, please let me know.

My initial thoughts are some e-mail correspondence will be adequate. I'm not sure that I want to meet her, and if I do, I know that I don't want to consider her as family. I would consider her as an important, significant person in my life, but in no way family.

I just need some help. This is all new and quite overwhelming to me right now.

Thanks!