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First of all...you are NOT a horrible mother!!
Attachment is hard...and I'm saying that based on minor attachment issues, not even getting to the RAD.
Are you in counselling? Attachment therapy? Have you gotten a break from her at all?
I'd check out the attachment books and also talk to parents here experienced in RAD. Hopefully they'll post here too!
In the meantime, take a break for yourself and don't be so hard on yourself. Hard to do, I know!
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Mom to 4 fun loving kids (adopted from foster care)
7 years into our forever family! 
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